But someone at Gerber thinks I’m knocked up!
Have you ever had a really good day? Like one of those days where everything just works out well. You feel good about yourself and the new year. You’re focused on positive thoughts and making this year REALLY count?!
Then you get to the mailbox and you see a key waiting for you. The key that fits the larger of the two mail boxes, so you really get pumped wondering what may be inside.
With a turn of the key you see a medium sized box with large orange letters on the side that say: A SPECIAL GIFT FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY
What the holy hell? But wait…your “Positive” mindset takes over and you think, maybe just maybe this is a leftover Christmas gift that someone used a different box to ship in. So you slide your car key down the tape and open it up to reveal a Gerber Bib, Gerber Formula and some lame ass monthly cards that you lay on the chest of the baby to document how they have grown in one month. Up yours Gerber! Up your Gerber baby bib, formula delivering ass!
But you know what I’m going to do? In the spirit of the New Year, I’m going to stay in my damn positive mood and I’m going to utilize this box. I’m going to give away the formula and the bib to a truly deserving Mom out there. Then I’m going to use those monthly cards to document my weight loss. That’s right… while the purpose of them is to show the growth of a baby, I am going to show the loss of my buddah. Why not have a little fun with this, right?!
Do you know someone who could use this formula and bib? If so, let me know. Who knows, I might throw in some extra fun things for the expecting mom as well.